Wednesday, January 26, 2005

(*) Look in her eye

For a change, I thought rather than flood this post with lots of pics, I'd just link to them instead - so, the pics are all still here, you've just gotta click on them to see 'em this time. Enjoy.

Trip to mum's went really well - the car performed remarkably well... even survived getting stuck hiding under a tall tree on the side of a lonely road in the middle of nowhere in a crazy hailstorm for about 10 minutes with no damage! That was an experience too - never had that pleasure before...

Mum looked pretty blah, actually. She's as thin as a rake, breathless and gasping for breath a lot of the time... but she was remarkably happy to just hang out with me for the few hours. We talked and talked - about old movies, basically. It's a love we both share, so we can ramble on about them for ages without stopping, once we get ourselves started! It was a nice relaxing day. Leaving was hard - I know that look in her eye as I was driving out... that's the look my dad gave me the last time I ever saw him alive... hmmm... we'll just have to see how things pan out this time... not much else I can do about things like that.

I'm feeling pretty wiped out at the moment... just the swings of the dog, I guess... today feeling just emotionally empty in a lot of ways... no desire to do anything, even those things I remain passionate about... it's tough being depressed, you know... it shites me that it still creeps up on me without any due cause or reason... I just get very tired and drained being like this a lot of the time... I'm not as bad as I used to be (M has never acknowledged that my depression swings are real, you know... gees...), but when you get down a bit, you tend to notice it a bit more. Oh, I'll be alright... as normal... just carry on, regardless... an empty shell of the man I once was, you know...

I've been sleeping a lot too... that's a side-affect of the dog, you know... I've been enjoying my dreams so much, because they're so much more interesting than my real life at the moment! I had a nice dream the other night, when I was at the pub - with my Nan! She's been gone for over 6 years, but it was brilliant being able to hear her laugh again! Isn't it amazing what your memory stores deep down for you, eh? Thanks, Mr Brain.

Crying, Waiting, Hoping...

My housemate got back from her holiday jaunt in Ireland relatively unscathed yesterday - except her main bag was stuck behind in London! Argh! Her biggest upset was that her glasses were in it! But - a nice birthday present for her today - the airport rang to confirm that the bag will be arriving in our own towns' airport tomorrow! Whoo hoo!

I stopped at a few places along the way home from mum's on Saturday, spots I haven't been able to pay a visit to for a few years now (for many different reasons). First was at Govett's Leap at Blackheath - it's the forgotten spectacle of the Blue Mountains. It's on the other side of the ridge from the 'Three Sisters' and all that... beautiful scenery, like a mini Grand Canyon. Alas, it had just finished thundering and pouring when I got there, so the huge valley was encased in mist - absolutely nothing to photograph of that view that day! I did manage to get this peculiar Aussie construct - a picnic shelter... typically made out of whatever materials were at hand... like the surrounding bush rock!

Next stop was Mt York, right at the end of the Blue Mountains, near Mt Victoria Pass. This was the original way down off the mountains at Cox's Pass in 1815. You can see this monument for miles around from the valleys below... (tho it looks like it's in the middle of nowhere, which it is, as the road nowdays goes about 5km away from this site.) You can still walk down the original track they used, complete with convict cuttings and workings still in evident. This sign says: "These pick marks were made to allow Governor MacQuarie's vehicle to pass over the Blue Mountains, 1815." A beautiful spot - and a good place for abseiling too. There were three separate parties of abseilers going when I was there. Abseiling... that is, climbing down a rock cliff wall attached by ropes (it's lots of fun, and looks scary the first time, but isn't really!). There's a few different small cliffs and drops for all ages and levels of experience... I mean, there was even a young family there, and over the top and side of a large boulder they had their five-year-old daughter, all trussed-up with a harness, helmet etc - abseling! She did it with absolute confident ease! That's something I'd never thought of doing before... as a family - let's go abseling together! hahahaa!

A storm was brewing to the north-east, and everyone was starting to pack up their ropes and gear. I was only about 5 minutes down the track when I knew I'd better get back to the relative safety of the car... it was getting blacker and darker by the minute. Not that 5-yo kid tho... "Please daddy? One more? One more?" lol. I got to the car, and started pottering back down the road to the highway as it started to spit with rain. I thought we'd missed the main part of that storm... but, I was wrong! It started hailing big-time, with flying ice about the size of one of your fingernails... I pulled-up underneath this tree, thinking this would pass in a minute or so... 10 minutes later, I'm still waiting for the ice to stop thudding into the roof and windscreen of my little car! This pic was taken from my car! Luckily, there was no damage, but the ground was covered with ice for a few minutes, before it quickly melted away as the rain eventually began to fall in its' place. And is was pithing down... the wipers could hardly keep up with it! By the time I got back to the highway to a bit of shelter of a service station, it'd eased right off... typical! lol.

At the bottom of Mt Victoria, near Lithgow, is the remains of an old village/town called Hartley. There's only about half-a-dozen people who live there now, but when the road first came down over the mountains, this was a really large staging point for travellers. There's some pretty impressive old buildings still standing in remarkable condition there - very Aussie. Here's the Court House, the Catholic Rectory, and these three pics of this great old Aussie bush house - I love the old posts and the stone veranda. This tree was huge - must've been there for absolutely ages.

It's still a huge novelty for me being able to 'go for a drive' in the country once again, after being without a car for 2+ years. Petrol is cheap here still (88.9c/l), and the little machine runs on the smell of an oily rag - almost.

On another tangent - have you seen "The Incredibles" yet? Whaaat? NO?!? JUST DO IT! Go see it - today!!! You'll really love it.

Born: Paul Newman (actor, 1925); Eddie Van Halen (guitarist, 1957).
Events: Australia's Day to celebrate being Aussie!
Useless Trivia: Richard Neville's book, 'Play Power', published 1970.
My Soundtrack:
Split Enz; White Album
Footwear: bare butt stark nekkid - still!!!
Weather: wow still - we've had a lot of rain, but today is gloriously sunny, about 40% cloud, light winds, about 25c!

A young lunatic named Deuteronomy
Was in need of a frontal lobotomy
But sadly, my friend,
They did the wrong end,
And he came out with a total colostomy

Mal (ie. Mallard d'Quackers) :o)
Email: mal [@] maljam [.] cjb [.] net
Message Board:

"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of the oncoming train." (Robert Lowell)
"Excuse me, which way is the stage?" (Audience member, lost at Altamont, 1969.)
"For He's a Jolly Good Fellow!" (Outtake ending, 'Dr Strangelove' 1963)
"Phew!." (Eric Clapton)


Blogger Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Hi Mal, your mum looks like a sweetie, I'm so glad you had a good visit. Great photos, and it's fun to click on the links! I guess M never learned to cope with your depression. Good thing you did! And I'd love to go see the Incredibles, but alas our local cinema closed down a few years ago, and I can rarely be bothered to make the half-hour journey to the nearest one in the evenings. So I guess I'll see it when it comes out on video.

January 27, 2005 1:57 am  
Blogger Deirdre said...

Hope your Mum's okay.

That old house (stone verandah floor) is lovely, isn't it? I like the way the wooden posts have worn down over the years - just the effects of the weather, probably, or from people leaning on them as they walk in and out. We don't have many old buildings in this area - Euro occupation was much later (about 1890s or something before it really got going around here) and there were so many trees everyone built in timber. Which presumably then rotted, because there's hardly any old buildings left. Sigh.

If your mood hasn't lifted yet, maybe you could throw yourself off a cliff, eh? Abseiling. Nothing like dangling off the end of a rope to remind you you're alive (laughing). Best wishes.

January 28, 2005 12:33 pm  

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