(*) I feel fine

OK OK, so how am I REALLY...? Honestly - I'm going really good - about 7 out of 10 - really! I've had a good healthy time to grieve over mum's passing (it's 3 weeks already!), and I'm honestly feeling fine about it all. I had such great conversations with both mum and my brother while mum was still around, which really helped me to sort thru any hidden issues I may have been harbouring, without me realising it. So, in many regards, I'm feeling really quite fine with it all. The funeral was simply - the BEST funeral I've ever been to! A really nice celebration of mum's life - you don't often hear people laffing at your mum's terrible jokes at a FUNERAL now, do you?! So, it was a positive time for all of us.

I FINALLY got to have that mediation with M this arvo - was it about Xmastime I was first talking about doing it? She kept putting it off, but finally got around to doing it - and it was positive. Not much is gonna change, in one sense, but at least feel as though we have both finally listened and heard each other in regards to the boys. It's not the way I'd like it, but I'm happy enuff to compromise about stuff to keep things stable for everybody - especially the boys. The lady we had as our 'mediator' is an old friend of both of us (she's a trained counsellor as well), and that really helped us to be able to talk easily without her getting defensive - which has always ruined it for me in the past whenever M and I try to dialogue about stuff. So, sure it was tuff, but it was another positive. So, yes, I'm not going too badly - for a change.

I've got some temporary work packing about 5 bizillion plums at a local orchard for about the next 3 weeks... it's tedious work - but it's WORK! It'll pay for rego, and a storage space for mum's furniture for about until the years' end. Mum's 'estate' wasn't huge, but it'll be enough to pay off my Uni debts and pay about a 75% deposit on a small place of my own! At last! I'm very happy living out here in this town, and now that the boys have their own place now, I'm happy to reside and stay here. If that's where the boys are, then I'll stay relatively close. Anyway - I'd NEVER be able to afford anything in Sydney anyway - plus you'd never get me to live back down that way all the same!

So, if I sound a little bit happy (yes, I know it must be a shock! lol), then it's because I am. It's a nice feeling. It's been almost 4 years now - isn't it about bloody time things started to feel a bit clearer for me?!? rofl.

---

Sunday, April 24, 2005

1. What season are you in right now? Early Autumn... it's a little cool at nights, but lovely warm sunny days
2. Do you celebrate anything special this time of year? ANZAC Day
3. Name 3 things that come to mind when you think of spring (or your current season)? Autum... running thru piles of fallen leaves; getting out the blankets; putting the cooling fans away.
4. In the current season, about how many hours of the day are daylight hours? About 12.
5. Do you do any 'spring cleaning?' Yes, I admit that just recently I've got a bit of a 'cleaning' thing happening... but them I've gone and had all this stuff passed on to me from my late mum's flat! lol
6. Do you wash your own car or take it to the car wash? Oh, I'd rather wash it myself... it gets a more thorough clean.
7. Do you hang your laundry out on a clothesline on nice days? Absolutely - even on not-so-nice days - our clothesline is about 60% under-cover!

...and the following is optional; although I do encourage you to participate:

8. Post a picture that reflects the current season where you live.



Week 116

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Detachment:: uncompassionate
   
2. Regard:: Caring for your neighbours
   
3. Community:: Chest
   
4. Strike three:: You're outta dere!
   
5. Congregation:: back-view of sleeping heads
   
6. Generous:: time-sharer
   
7. Pretention:: what, moi?
   
8. Pregnant:: inability to stand unassisted
   
9. Drinking:: straw
   
10. Brilliance:: sunset
    

---