Tuesday, April 26, 2005

(*) I feel fine

OK OK, so how am I REALLY...? Honestly - I'm going really good - about 7 out of 10 - really! I've had a good healthy time to grieve over mum's passing (it's 3 weeks already!), and I'm honestly feeling fine about it all. I had such great conversations with both mum and my brother while mum was still around, which really helped me to sort thru any hidden issues I may have been harbouring, without me realising it. So, in many regards, I'm feeling really quite fine with it all. The funeral was simply - the BEST funeral I've ever been to! A really nice celebration of mum's life - you don't often hear people laffing at your mum's terrible jokes at a FUNERAL now, do you?! So, it was a positive time for all of us.

I FINALLY got to have that mediation with M this arvo - was it about Xmastime I was first talking about doing it? She kept putting it off, but finally got around to doing it - and it was positive. Not much is gonna change, in one sense, but at least feel as though we have both finally listened and heard each other in regards to the boys. It's not the way I'd like it, but I'm happy enuff to compromise about stuff to keep things stable for everybody - especially the boys. The lady we had as our 'mediator' is an old friend of both of us (she's a trained counsellor as well), and that really helped us to be able to talk easily without her getting defensive - which has always ruined it for me in the past whenever M and I try to dialogue about stuff. So, sure it was tuff, but it was another positive. So, yes, I'm not going too badly - for a change.

I've got some temporary work packing about 5 bizillion plums at a local orchard for about the next 3 weeks... it's tedious work - but it's WORK! It'll pay for rego, and a storage space for mum's furniture for about until the years' end. Mum's 'estate' wasn't huge, but it'll be enough to pay off my Uni debts and pay about a 75% deposit on a small place of my own! At last! I'm very happy living out here in this town, and now that the boys have their own place now, I'm happy to reside and stay here. If that's where the boys are, then I'll stay relatively close. Anyway - I'd NEVER be able to afford anything in Sydney anyway - plus you'd never get me to live back down that way all the same!

So, if I sound a little bit happy (yes, I know it must be a shock! lol), then it's because I am. It's a nice feeling. It's been almost 4 years now - isn't it about bloody time things started to feel a bit clearer for me?!? rofl.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

1. What season are you in right now? Early Autumn... it's a little cool at nights, but lovely warm sunny days
2. Do you celebrate anything special this time of year? ANZAC Day
3. Name 3 things that come to mind when you think of spring (or your current season)? Autum... running thru piles of fallen leaves; getting out the blankets; putting the cooling fans away.
4. In the current season, about how many hours of the day are daylight hours? About 12.
5. Do you do any 'spring cleaning?' Yes, I admit that just recently I've got a bit of a 'cleaning' thing happening... but them I've gone and had all this stuff passed on to me from my late mum's flat! lol
6. Do you wash your own car or take it to the car wash? Oh, I'd rather wash it myself... it gets a more thorough clean.
7. Do you hang your laundry out on a clothesline on nice days? Absolutely - even on not-so-nice days - our clothesline is about 60% under-cover!

...and the following is optional; although I do encourage you to participate:

8. Post a picture that reflects the current season where you live.

Week 116

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Detachment:: uncompassionate
  2. Regard:: Caring for your neighbours
  3. Community:: Chest
  4. Strike three:: You're outta dere!
  5. Congregation:: back-view of sleeping heads
  6. Generous:: time-sharer
  7. Pretention:: what, moi?
  8. Pregnant:: inability to stand unassisted
  9. Drinking:: straw
  10. Brilliance:: sunset


Blogger broomhilda said...

Mal, It's nice to hear that you are happy.
I'm glad that the mediation went well.

So, your packin' plums huh? No, I'm not gonna say it, I won't go there...lol

April 26, 2005 10:07 pm  
Blogger Zinnia Cyclamen said...

So glad things are going well for you. I guess you'd already done some of your grieving for your mum before she died. And death makes room for growth - you don't have to worry about her any more, so you can use that energy for other stuff. Sounds like real positive progress for you. Which is great!

April 27, 2005 2:01 am  
Blogger caroline said...

Glad to hear that you are doing well. I'm also glad that you are satisfied with the mediation. As long as you both can talk and work things out, it will be best for your boys.

April 27, 2005 3:41 pm  
Blogger birdychirp said...

I'm really pleased things are coming together for you - my experience is similar to that which Zinnia describes.

April 28, 2005 6:21 am  
Blogger Raehan said...

Good for you for going through mediation. Not that many parents would do that for their kids.

May 04, 2005 12:38 pm  

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