Sunday, October 17, 2004

(*) Sinus headaches are no fun

Argh! I hate having a filty sinus headache like right now! Makes my Sunday blech...

I realise I usually just talk about my activities rather than my feelings when I write these posts. I know that - it's not a conscious thing... I think it's still partly my defence mechanism... I think I'm still too frightened to tell too much to people.. it's the whole violated trust thing I must be unconsciously fearing still, I think... oooh, heavy stuff! As it is, I think too much anyway... If I'm ever going to fully trust someone else ever again, it's only when I can fully, freely, confidently share those thoughts and deeper-deeper level feelings with them one-on-one. I know I share a lot in this blog, but in many, many ways, it's only really skimming the surface of what's going on in my chest for me from day to day. A blog is only an externalization anyway - a shadow of reality in so many ways. I realise and appreciate the whole limitations of what a blog can hope to achieve, and that's OK. Tho it doesn't stop me writing and sharing who I am. I USED to write like that all the time, years' ago. I guess I'm just out of practise, being so used to writing about stuff and not about feelings... I dunno! So, I guess I'll have to get practising again! Yeah yeah, I know... I don't have to justify myself writing this blog! I'm not! I'm just 'sharing my feelings'! hahahaa! I think I have to relearn vocalising my "inner voice" again...

I caught up with an old friend yesterday over 'coffee' for about an hour in a nice small quiet cafe, and we talked and talked the whole time! Great time just to hang out and catch up. Rod admits he's as slack as the next guy with keeping in touch with people, and admitted he's missing out on just hanging out with blokes again. Life's busy as a new dad of a 2-yo, a husband and a shift manager! So, we'll be spending a bit of time from now on just hanging out together - playing pool at the RSL Club - whatever, whenever his shifts and home life allow it. Just some bloke time. Male bomding stuff, maybe? lol. heck knows I need it too!
The boys' mum is pregnant already - they've only been married about 6 weeks or sommat! I feel fine about it - really. The wierd part is - my brother told me! I spoke to Shell yesterday afternoon - and she didn't say anything about it! "Strange woman." My brother and I agreed with her that we wonlt tell my mum about it in the near future - the thought might physically kill her! My mums' never really coped with Shell not only divorcing her youngest son, but remarrying another! Poor mum...
In that same phone call with my brother, he's convinced my mum to allow me to buy a cheap 2nd-hand car! She knows she hasn't got long to live, and she's thinking of giving some of our small inheritence to us now while she's still around - so she can see us enjoying and appreciating it. So, I'll be hunting around for a small cheap car - something that hopefully's not a complete bomb. $2.5K isn't exactly a lot to purchase a car with... but, beggars must not be choosers! It'll be wonderful - I'm sure Shell will be even more over-protective of me hanging-out with the boys now she's pregnant (she's still wierd about some things! I just take whatever I can get...), so having a car to pick them up and go places together will be awesome!
In amongst all this, along with some $ that mum had given me for my birthday back in July, I finally bought myself a new digital camera. Little Kodak thing that does everything except makes a good coffee! Now all I need is get the USB port working on this puter, so I can download my pics! I've tried getting the USB happening, but no go. I'll take it along to a computer dude tomorrow, and he says it's probably just a simple thing. I don't wanna start taking the cover off the thing and fiddling around!

I got domestic with the new camera too - I sewed myself a new camera bag for it. But... I made it out of unconventional materials (of course!) I'd already cut-down a pair of old jeans to make a pair of grotty house-shorts for summer, and I made the camera bag out of the denim leg cut-offs! hahahaa! I guess the sewing bug got to me (or maybe just the heat of the direct sun shining straight onto my head in bed first thing in the morning), because I made a quick trip to Spotlight and bought a few meters of nice looking (and on sale!) rubber-backed curtain material. I've got nice curtains on my bedroom windows already, but they don't stop the heat coming in first thing in the morning. I had an old blanket up against the window behind the curtains last summer, just to take the heat out. This year I thought curtains would be much more sensible! Anyway, yesterday watching the Rugby League Test on telly (Australia Vs New Zealand - 16-all!), I hand-sewed my new curtains, that now go behind those blue curtains I've already got hanging. Well, they work really well... it was so dark in my room this morning - I slept in!!!! hahahahaaa!

And, to top off a nice sunny week - it's raining as I speak! We've had a few mm's over this week, which helps - every little drop helps out here. Needless to say, the gardens around town are looking amazingly colourful as a result of rain and sunshine. Whoo hoo.

Week 89
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Dimension:: the equator
  2. Roger:: Climpson
  3. CSI:: ooze!
  4. Passenger:: crowded, smelly dark noisy underground trains.
  5. Thankful:: my three sons' laughter.
  6. Has-been:: Mofie!
  7. Bambino:: Bambi's child?
  8. Wrinkles:: middle-age at thirty seven!
  9. Cable TV:: wassat?
  10. Voicemail:: mobile phone used as a glorified answering machine...

Mal :o)

Silly News


Blogger Ruby said...

Hey Mal, good to hear you are getting some rain. Brilliant news about your coffee meeting, glad all went well. Hope you get to do it again soon.
Ok my turn with your list. Here goes.
Dimension:: My waist.
Roger:: Rabbit.
CSI:: Aliens.
Passenger:: Irritating.
Thankful:: My husband.
Has-been:: Seeing my toes again.
Bambino:: Baby.
Wrinkles:: Many.
Cable TV:: Adult Channel.
Voicemail:: To lazy to call back.

October 17, 2004 4:25 pm  
Blogger Mallard said...

Thanx Ruby! you're one of those ppl who alwaysseem to be able to make me laugh - when your suppsed to, that is! hahahaha! I love ur list too...
Mal :o)

October 17, 2004 8:47 pm  

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